A Cavity and the Lack of Balance in the World

Olivia went to the dentist today and they found a CAVITY.  I have to admit, I"m very disturbed.  The first thing that came to mind was my fear that it will hurt and she will be forever traumatized and afraid to go to the dentist.  Every six months will be a struggle and a panic because the one thing she will remember is it hurt.  The second thing that plays over and over again is that I did something wrong; I didn't brush her teeth well enough.. I didn't give her enough fluoride when she was a baby.... I should have made sure she rinsed her mouth when she had something sugary...I've been unsettled all day.  I can't get it out my head that if I can't protect her from something as simple as a cavity, how can I protect her from the rest of the world. 

I am not by nautre a neurotic person, although I recognize this post may have you think otherwise; it's just everytime I turn around there is disturbing news about our food supply, our water, children dying of cancer, people with healthy lifestyles succumbing to horrible diseases, child abductions, animal cruelty, wars... it goes on and on... and now Olivia has a cavity.  Does every parent feel like this or is it more a reflection of my life being out of balance on some level?  I practice yoga on a fairly consistant basis and what I find very interesting is how varied the balance poses can be.  Unlike strength, balance, or shall I say "unbalance" is so much more in my head.  On the days when I can't settle my thoughts I topple over even in the most basic poses.  When my spirit is light and I can clear my mind, my body is steady and powerful. I am graceful, poised and controlled.

I've been looking at my life a lot lately and wondering if I died tommorrow, did I leave the world a better place?  Did I make a positive impact in some way?  Who would show up at the funeral and what would they remember about me? Am I providing Olivia with all she needs to grow into her own self and lead a healthy and fulfilled life?  Will she have self-awareness and confidance to take her place in the world, will she be authentic and live with integrity, will she stand tall and powerful when she's thrown a curve ball...will she brush and floss properly?

So, I ask myself, "what would you tell Olivia if she was asking all these questions?"  I would tell her, "Life is full of things we cannot control and therefore we must focus on how we are "being" in our life.  Be mindful and stay present, do your best and remember to breathe deeply.  Be thankful for all that you have and for who you are.  Be gentle with yourself and with others. Brush and floss daily and avoid sugary foods."

The Blank Page

Well, I finally made some progress on the set up of CEO of My New Life.  I can't help but think it shouldn't have taken this much time to get this far, I still feel disorganized in my thoughts, the layout isn't really right and blah, blah, blah...

This thought takes me back to yesterday morning when I told Olivia that we had to get moving or we were going to be late for ballet class.  She wound up really fast, stomped her feet and ran out of the room yelling, "I am not going to ballet today".  I responded "Yes, you are going to ballet.  You wanted to take these classes and you will finish the sessions..."  As she continued to fight, I figured there must be something else going on here, so I knealt down in front of her, took her hands and asked, "Why don't you want to go today? You seemed to really be enjoying your class."  That's when she told me in her tinyest little 5 year old voice, "I'm not so good at some of the things we are doing. I don't think I"m ever going to get them right."

I took a moment to think, then I explained to her that there will always be things that come easier to us than others.  Mommy has lots of things that aren't as easy as some other things. When we get to the not so easy stuff we should first smile and then do our very best.  When finished, say to ourself "good job today". Even if it takes, 5, 10, 20...100 times to get it right.  You see what we say in our head, affects what we do.  With that, she got all excited and says, "You mean my BRAIN tells my BODY what to do?!  I am going to tell my body to dance, dance, dance."  Then she jumps up, wiggles her little butt, and gets her shoes on.

As a parent, we can learn a lot from the interactions with our children.  I may not be an expert at this blogging stuff, but tonight I smile and tell myself, "good job today" and I will be happy that my page isn't blank anymore.